Can you rekindle that old flame?

Hey dolls,

A while back, I was minding my own businesses on Facebook. I ran across an old flame. I was young, it was fun. That was then and now… well, let’s get to that part.

So I ran across (let’s call him Joe) Joe’s Facebook page. I browsed all the public images because that’s just what people do before they click the ADD FRIEND button. Joe has a beautiful family. Looks like things are going well. I send him a message.

“Hey, Joe! It’s been a long time. Crazy to see us adulting these days. You have a beautiful family. Let’s connect and catch up.”

I love catching up with people and networking. People should always be connecting because we can learn so much from each other. There is a connection out there waiting for you.  Could be a business partner, new work opportunities, heck even love could be waiting.

So Joe and I connect. We exchange numbers and talk about our family and how being a parent changes your perceptions of life.  And then…

those feelings of nostalgia hit. We remembered what it was like being together. Those feelings hit Joe harder than it hit me. I felt it, but it a way that made me appreciate the things you need to learn about life, dating, and relationships. It was a moment that reminded me that being young was easy. Being an adult requires a good thought process, plan A, plan B and a plan C, and the willingness to let it go when needed because life doesn’t stop because you’re in emotional distress.

Joe expressed his love for me. He said that I was the one that got away. I remember being the one that was younger and needed to finish school. He was older and need to be an adult. Learn how to do adult things. In this time Joe has been with a woman for over a decade. This woman has conceived his five beautiful children. She dedicated her life to being the woman for him. Here he is, trying to rekindle an old flame. One that may not even be worth it.

As flattered as I could be, I was just as angry.   A couple good conversations, nostalgic emotions, and new possibilities get us so aroused, that we are willing to lose those that have been loyal to us. I started to put myself in the shoes of Joe’s woman. I’d be furious… it was like living Waiting to Exhale, Living it instead of watching over again.

I had to let Joe know. What was had was great, but why would you want to leave this woman who had your back all these years? Why would you waste her time? That’s selfish don’t you think?

So let’s fast forward to after I needed to hand Joe his life. He finally married the mother of his children. I am pleased that he took my advice. I hope he can look at that situation and say that he’d never have those thoughts again.

Joe and I can be friends from a distance. I just appreciate that he finally locked down the mother of his babies.

I’m proud of you Joe.

 

So what are your thoughts? Has this happened to you? Have you wanted to rekindle an old flame?

Talk to me! I want to hear your stories.

Love is blind

“Love is blind because you’re not supposed to see it you’re supposed to feel it”

Love is blind. Maybe it’s blindfolded or somehow needs to grow eyes. Either way, it doesn’t teach me jack unless well its by trial.

Someone told me that you never stop giving up on the person you love. My thoughts are… What if that person loves someone else? That can be devasting to find out that a person you’ve fallen head over heels in love with someone else. Just that fact that you’ve devoted so much time loving them and wham, it’s over.

I’ve learned to deal with this thing called self-torture long enough. I’m sure there is only so much pain the heart can endure. That last phone call may have been hurtful. That last text message may have been hurtful.  Not angry hurtful but truthful hurtful.

Eventually, you will need to put a stop to all the unnecessary time you’ve been devoting to Mr. Wrong. Go ahead and make the call. That last phone call may be hurtful. That last text message may be hurtful.  Not angry hurtful but truthful hurtful.

You may think…  oh I’ll just:

  • Delete your number
  • Delete all our text messages
  • block you from facebook
  • Delete all convos
  • Just so I won’t have to reference you at all.

Trust me this all sounds great. When you fall in love. When you find that happy place that keeps you coming back. That special part of someone that makes you feel like you can dust off the negativity and keep pushing.

YOU HOLD ON! HOLD ON TIGHT!

See, it may be true that they love someone else but trust that they are not receiving the love that you give. Not from that other person.  This is why love is blind. We tend to mix up our wants and needs between the heart and the mind.

The one thing that we forget is that love is selfless. When you love someone you want them happy. Even if that means it’s not with you.